My Granddaddy

I am a good week or more behind in blogging. I honestly just haven't felt up to it lately. My Granddaddy passed away last Monday, April 15. I left work after receiving the call from my mom that morning. I was devastated. Even though it was "expected", it is still so hard. My Granddaddy was diagnosed with Melanoma in December. It had spread to his Lungs, Spine, Brain, Lymph Nodes, and Adrenal Gland. I don't think I left anything out. So basically, we have known for a while about this but it really did take him a long time to go "down hill". In January, my dad and uncle decided to take him on a spontaneous trip. He had never flown on an airplane and had never been out West. They went to Las Vegas, stayed on the strip, and visited all the sites, including the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam. In February, he started radiation on his brain only. This lasted for two weeks. After the first week of radiation, I couldn't even tell anything was different. (appearance wise)By the end of the second week, his head just looked red, kind of like a sun burn. He did excellent during those two weeks and his comment to me was, "That was a piece of cake". He told me he was nervous to start his first round of Chemo. Or maybe I should rephrase that. It was called, "Infusion". Basically the same thing as chemo if you ask me. It's administered through an IV, but if I remember correctly, it was "newer" than Chemo. He had to be at Vanderbilt that day for 3 hours while the drug was put into his body. My days, weeks, and months are running together, but I'm thinking by now this was done early March? After that was done, he started to slowly go down hill. He was to wait 3 weeks and go back for another treatment. Somewhere during all this, we learned that the radiation on his brain didn't help one bit. The spots on his brain grew larger and new spots appeared. When he was due back for another treatment, the doctor basically said his body couldn't handle another treatment. My Granddaddy said, "well, we gotta do something". So, he started a chemo pill. The pill is so strong you couldn't touch it. It had to be poured into a cup, then taken by mouth. Anyway, after doing that for 1 week, he was wiped out. He started sleeping all day long pretty much. He was so weak. During the week, he always stayed in Franklin at my uncle and aunts house. He was that much closer to Vanderbilt. On the weekends, he would go home. My birthday weekend, (March 23) if I recall correctly was the first weekend my dad had to stay with him at his house. He had fallen a few times prior to that weekend and really wasn't eating a whole lot so he was needing extra help by this point. The week leading up to Easter weekend, he started to get really, really bad and wasn't able to come home that weekend. That was the first time through this whole situation he wasn't strong enough to go home. He could barely walk, eat, sit up, etc. After Easter Sunday, he went to Vanderbilt for his appt on that Wednesday. The doctor admitted him and said we would be discussing Hospice options during his stay. Saturday comes, and we load up the kids and head to Nashville to visit him. He was due to come to Manchester on that Monday to go to the nursing home, but I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if we didn't go visit him and he passed away while still in the hospital. We had a great visit. He was not doing well, but he was able to talk to us some and he would smile every time he saw Adalyn or Landon. He would fall in and out of sleep. We stayed for a few hours that day then came back home. Monday, he was transported to the nursing home. (Or was it Sunday? I'm telling you, my days are still running together) I spent that week (April 8-12) visiting him on my hour lunch break. He knew who I was, he would drink from time to time, eat a bite of chocolate here and there, but other than that, he slept and when he was awake, I watched him moan in pain. He was suffering right in front of our eyes. It was pitiful and so heartbreaking. I would never, ever wish that agony upon anyone. On Friday, I bought groceries during my lunch so after work, I headed home to get Adalyn so we could go visit him. Adam and Landon headed out to bush hog so it was just us girls. My dad was already there by the time we arrived. Granddaddy smiled ear to ear when he saw Adalyn. She had painted a butterfly for him and we hung it up next to all the pictures we brought in. We stayed maybe 30 or so minutes. We were able to talk to him some, but other than that he was either dozing off or moaning because of his pain. It was so pitiful and Adalyn was kind of starting to get a little scared or maybe I should say, nervous. So we decided to go ahead and leave not knowing that would be the last time we would get to see him. He passed away around 1:00 AM on Monday, April 15. I worked in the funeral industry for years, and I finally understood a statement I would hear from time to time while working at the funeral home. "It's such a relief". When I would hear families say that, I would have to admit, without showing it on my face, in my head I was thinking, "What?! Really??? What are you talking about?" But, I now see the meaning behind it. When you watch someone lay in front of you and literally suffer right in front of your eyes, the word "relief" is very appropriate. I made the comment to Adam that I now know what people meant when they said that. So last week was very long. I am so thankful that I work for the school system and they have such awesome benefits. I was able to take 3 bereavement days and be with my entire family. We had amazing weather so I know we were all thankful for that. We were showered with prayers, visits, phone calls, texts, hugs, and food. OH the FOOD! Thank you to everyone who sent something or stopped by. Thanks to my friends for your support and coming to the funeral home to be with me. My family has been truly blessed by my Granddaddy. His sense of humor will definitely be missed. I am SO lucky I was able to spend 26 years with him. (and 24 with my Grandmother) Their house was my second home growing up. Way out in the country, the mountains their back yard. It has always been such a relaxing place to be at. You know what I am even more thankful of? That Adalyn and Landon knew my Granddaddy and had such a great relationship with him. If two weeks had ever gone by and my kids hadn't seen him, that was very uncommon. For soooo many reasons, I am just blessed, thankful, appreciative, honored, and the list goes on, that they were able to get to know him, hug and kiss him, play with him, and just simply to be around him. My Granddaddy was the hardest worker, the best gardener, and the funniest man I knew. Chocolate and a nice cold Coca Cola was his favorite. He loved his sweets! I have to be honest about something. I really didn't know how "serious" Melanoma was. I always have heard, "Oh I'm getting a spot taken off", and that's it. I have heard that countless times from multiple people. My Granddaddy had a few taken off throughout his adult life, but I never gave it a second thought. "Oh, just another spot..." I must sound stupid, but I don't think it ever occurred to me that it would really spread. And that's what happened to him. He had a spot taken off his face last April, and in November, he got sick. Flu like symptoms. After tests and scans, we learned the melanoma had spread internally. Our Granddaddy will forever be missed!